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| Saturday, March 8th, 2008 | | 10:36 pm |
| | Friday, February 1st, 2008 | | 9:03 pm |
For Colin!
This is for Colin, if you're still doing the State Post. Happy Christmas! Fans of HBO Drama ‘The Wire’ Admit They Have no Idea What the Hell Characters are Talking About. Fans of the hit and universally acclaimed HBO drama series ‘The Wire’ assumedly about police, crime and politics in Baltimore, admitted that despite their fervor for the show, the dialogue is virtually indiscernible. “I love the show, it’s amazing,” says 28 year old paralegal Alexander Strong of Washington DC, “I also love the ultra-authentic street-talk that is so brilliant that I usually don’t have a clue what the fuck they’re talking about.” Executive producer Phyllis Bergman says the frequent use of witty analogies (such as ‘The Chief’ll be walkin’ ‘round here quieter’n a rabbit screwing a pile of cotton’), mixed metaphors (‘If I weren’t the mayor of shitville, would I be holding my nose this tightly!?’) and completely convincing dialogue makes the audience feel like they are witnessing an actual conversation between a corrupt cop and a corrupt politician, in that you have no inkling as to the meaning or purpose of their conversation. “Instead of saying ‘if we don’t give him the money, he’ll come after us,” says Bergman, “we assume ‘we better buy into his game or he’ll buckle down on ours’ as a more street-authentic term – comprehension be dammed! After winning seven Emmy awards last year, most judges agreed that as the best show on television, The Wire has the right to have mind-bogglingly cryptic dialogue that would drive code breakers into confusion-induced vomiting. Writers report they utilize pieces of AIM conversations, 1920’s newspaper clippings, CSPAN outtakes and overhead arguments their parents had when they were six as inspiration for the scripts. | | Sunday, November 4th, 2007 | | 5:46 pm |
This is what I hear when I watch the 2008 Presidential Debates
Giant Spider: Thank you Chris, I am so happy to be hear, this is the greatest city in the country, and the greatest country in the world! *raises front legs and fangs in the air in a Nixon-eqsue way* Chris Mathews: Giant Spider, how do you respond to your critics who say that you want to eat people alive, particularly after you’ve captured them in your gigantic web in the abandoned mine shafts of Ohio. Giant Spider: Chris, my home state of Ohio is a beautiful state. The Ohioans there are a tremendous people, they’re a brave people Chris, they’re a strong, resourceful, delicious people – they’re people who know what they need and what they don’t need, and they know they don’t need a candidate like my opponent here, who wants to, not just eat, but assimilate them *Giant Spider gestures to zombie swaying at the adjacent podium. * Chris Mathews: Zombie, your rebuttal. Zombie: *raises swaying arms to straighten torn tie and brushes hair back on grey decaying flesh* I’m a zombie Chris, there’s no dancing around it. But I’m a committed zombie, I’m a patriotic zombie. I served 5 years in the marines before I was bitten by a fellow zombie – I’m just like many Americans in that way. Will I bite other great Americans like myself and convert them to the army of the undead? Sure, what zombie wouldn’t. I have integrity. But I am not going to spin anyone into a web, like Giant Spider would, I’m not going to “suck the life” *makes quotation marks with boney fingers* out of them with spend-ocrat taxes, that’s for sure. Chris Matthews: A question now that I’d like Evil Robot to respond to. Evil Robot, most of the public pessimism today has to do with Iraq. How -- what would you need, as commander in chief, to win the war in Iraq? Evil Robot: *Laser eyes glare red as he smashes pulpit with huge iron arm and claw* I would need the support of the American people. After the great robot uprising, when, whichever artificial intelligence ruling as president will need to enslave Americans. I would then like to show them some success in Iraq, both on the battlefield as well as with the Maliki government, who will also be enslaved to do the bidding of the machines. We [ the robots] must win in Iraq. If we withdraw, there will be chaos, there will be destruction, there will be a lost chance for robots everywhere to control their Human masters. Chris Matthews: Giant Spider, would you need anything beyond what the president has now to win the war? Giant Spider: The war was terribly mismanaged. Radioactive webbing was not even utilized. We now have to fix a lot of the mistakes that could only have been made by a president with only 2 arms. I will utilize radioactive webbing in iraq, whereas my opponent will have but hordes of defenseless fleshy undead at his disposal. I am the only leader up here who has enough Human-devouring battle experience: Zombie: That’s not true! Chris Matthews: Zombie, if you’re commander in chief and you want to win this war in Iraq, what do you need to do to win it? Zombie: First, you have to support the troops. If that means devouring their brains, then so be it. I’m not just going to eat the brains of the elite, but of the common American. There’s an undying bond in America that any time an American soldier is in harm’s way, we have to protect him and his scrumptious brains. Beyond that, there are three things that I’ve laid out. Number one, I believe the al-Maliki government should be bitten many time and made into zombies. If these zombies vote yes to American zombies remaining in their country, it gives us a legitimacy for being there. If they vote no, we should bite Syrians instead. Secondly, there are 18 territories in Iraq, just like we have 50 states in America. I would require those territories to elect governments, just like we do in our states. In this scenario, all grave-bound corpses will be allowed to vote. Third, I will eat YOUR brains, Chris. *applause, laughter* Chris Matthews: Man-Eating Plant, we haven’t heard from you on this issue. Man-Eating Plant: *wipes slobber from huge green-red jaws with several tentacle-vines* Yeah, very briefly, Chris. The key to winning in Iraq is standing up the Iraqi military. There are 129 battalions in the Iraqi army – all eatable. We need to make sure that every one of those battalions moves into an operational setting, perhaps behind bushes, in trees or near swamps and forests, where they easier to reach. At that point, they can move into the combat field, they can start displacing American units, and America’s heavy combat units can rotate out. That’s the right way to leave Iraq. Chris Matthews: Sorry, do you mean the troops can move into the combat field? Man-Eating Plant: No, the trees and bushes can.
Zombie: The zombie virus doesn't work on trees.
Man-Eating Plant: Sure, I wasn't arguing that, Senator. Chris Matthews: Giant Spider, in that same NBC Wall Street Journal poll that Evil Robot mentioned, 55 percent of Americans say victory is just not possible in Iraq. They’ve made up their minds on this war. Why shouldn’t they have a president who will listen? Giant Spider: Well, if you wanted to have a president that just followed the polls, all we’d need to do is plug in our TV’s when they’re announcing through the emergency broadcast system that I or one of my opponents is rampaging down a major city street. Then we could have public opinion run the country, that would be a democracy Peter, but that’s not what America wants. It’s not what America needs. We need leadership that’s strong and giant and that shows America what we can do to eat the rest of the world. I am a giant spider, Chris. I will devour any human that challenges my leadership. Ronald Reagan was a president of strength, who, had he giant poisonous mandibles like my own, would have done the same. His philosophy was the philosophy of strength -- the strong military, the strong economy and strong tasty families. With regards to Iraq, there are a lot of people, like Zombie here, that say, let’s just turn all the humans into zombies and then get the American zombies out of iraq. Is that what you want? To have a world void of Humans but full of zombies? Sure I will eat Humans, but many will be left alive to reproduce. I want to get our troops home as soon as I possibly can, so they can be eaten. But at the same time I recognize, I don’t want to or need to eat all of them or even most of them especially not in such a precipitous way that we cause a circumstance that would require them to go back, where I can’t reach them with my web sling. Because if we leave in the wrong way, the Iranians could grab the Shi’a South, or al Qaeda could play a dominant role among the Sunnis, or the zombies could turn all iraqis into more zombies, or the man eating plants ‘ seed spores could conquer all. Or you could have the border with Turkey destabilized by the Kurds. And as a result you could have regional conflict develop – we could lose hundreds of thousands of delicious troops! Chris Matthews: Time, Giant Spider. Man-Eating Plant: Unlike my competitors here, Evil Robot who wants to enslave America, or Zombie who wants to assimilate America, or Giant Spider who wants to eat America, I only wish to . . . well I also wish to eat America, but I would do it far less painfully than Giant Spider. Recent Gallop Polls show that being dissolved by the acidic juices of my pod bladder will in actuality be less painful than your heart bursting from the radiated venom of Giant Spider’s fangs. Chris Matthews: We haven’t yet heard from the Raging Extraterrestrial, Sir what would you do to win the war in iraq? Raging Extraterrestrial: *Standing upright in his silver body suit, his green brain and huge eye pulsate thoughtfully* I think we win the war by standing up for our Martian values and working with those who will work with us, like other Martians. Giant Spider: I think this shows how much of an elitist my opponent the Raging Extraterrestrial is . . . Chris Matthews: Please wait for your turn Giant Spider. Raging Extraterrestrial: I think you have to remember that while we’re in a war on terrorism, Jupiter, plutonians and mole people, there are a number of people and silicon-based life forms that are with us, that work with us around the world, particularly to attack key Human defense systems, and we -- also in the Islamic world. We’re partnering with a number of moderate Muslim Martians, and that’s something I think we need to convey into the Human Muslim world as well, that these are -- these are groups, the al Qaeda group, the militant Islamic fascists, The Islamist Venusians. They’re trying to unseat moderate Muslim regimes. And I think we need to use our most advanced blood-busting space rays to engage those regimes. So it’s to engage those that will work with us, contain in space cages and confront with tripod- annihilators those that won’t, and convey that to the Muslim world. Chris Matthews: How do you deal with the problem, revealed in a recent Zogby poll, that in countries that are moderate, you mentioned -- like Jordan, Morocco, Turkey, another Islamic country -- 10, 12 percent of the people support us; the rest are angry at us. Doesn’t that create a sea of recruitment opportunity for our enemy? Raging Extraterrestrial: And how -- I’m just asking, do we have to reduce that temperature of hatred before we win the war, or simply continue to fight the terrorists? Our extra-nuclear flying doomsday blasters can use space coolant to reduce the temperature and both put these Human countries into deepfreeze to be preserved for future alien civilizations to admire in ice museums while simultaneously blasting defiant humans into atomic oblivion. Zombie: Well, I think we have to do both, Chris. I mean you have to engage in those countries, particularly in spreading the zombie virus – I mean, look, the Raging Extraterrestrial is clearly giving you a lot of rhetoric – my campaign has always been about results, strong, ghoulish results that leave bloody hand prints of democracy on suburban front doors left slightly ajar. Giant Spider: I agree with my opponent here, blood is good. Man-Eating Plant: Yes, excellent on Rye. Evil Robot: *nods in agreement* Death Good.
Stay tuned for further debates . . . | | Tuesday, March 6th, 2007 | | 12:05 pm |
This may sound wierd, but . . .
Hi everyone, I know this is probably going to sound very strange, but I wanted to ask for a favor. . . Can anyone who feels they have one, share any memory or example they have of any time that you felt I was judgemental, unfairly critical, unforgiving, unreasonably negative or pecimistic, alienating or otherwise arrogant or self righteous in any judgemental way. Whether it was towards you, someone else, someone we talked about, an idea, film, politician, dining hall food -- ANYTHING. Call it a moral inventory that I'm doing of myself. Email me if you like, unity302000@yahoo.com or just post here, It's ok if others see it. Please do not hesitate to be honest, the harshest and most brutual honesty from the people I care about is what I'm looking for. The more detail the better, but if the list is too long, please summarize. Thank you. with love and donuts, -Steve | | Tuesday, January 2nd, 2007 | | 1:35 am |
Hell o All, I wanted to let everyone know that Steve Sacco can be reached at any time of day, at this number (my new cell phone): 315-601-4156
And for For now, I shall attempt to seek employment in this place:  The lion's den itself -- Washington City, the big DC. So I'm going tomorrow and staying with a friend to look for work. Wish me luck! Anyone I haven't seen yet, I will completely see you when i'm back in new york next -- which shouldn't be more than a couple weeks time -- i don't think. Until then -- call me! if you don't, i will call you anyway. So there. Oh, and Happy 2007! | | Tuesday, December 26th, 2006 | | 9:55 pm |
Hey you, yeah you, good friend i haven't seen yet since i've been back in americaland -- i want to see everyone! -- i'm in Utica, come to Utica -- you can reach me at 315-735-6515 --call me! And let me applogize for any comfusion emails sent by people who aren't me may have caused. Yay, I'm back! | | Thursday, November 23rd, 2006 | | 2:57 pm |
There is no Thanksgiving in Tanzania. But I will give you a fun Thanksgiving-ish fun fact anyway. The swahili word for turkey is 'bata mzinga' which literally means 'cannon duck'. Why? because for some reason to East Africans 'gobble gobble' sounds a bit like a british cannon. Hilarious. That, and a turkey walks a bit like a duck. I wish you all an Awesome Thanksgiving!! Gobble Gobble Ka-boom!, ~Steve | | Thursday, October 5th, 2006 | | 1:15 pm |
| | Monday, October 2nd, 2006 | | 10:23 am |
There are no words in the English language to express my appriciation for the mind boggling things everyone wrote, supportive doesn't say it -- no English word to express how it makes me feel to hear those things -- things here are difficult and have been really exhausting as of late, in every way something can be exhuasting in fact -- no English word, but there is one word in several African languages: Ubuntu (pronounced: oo-BOON-too) It literally means, "I am, only because you are." I am, only because I have you. I love you too, Thank you. and Colin, you tell those super-intelligent lemurs to fuck off. | | Friday, September 29th, 2006 | | 7:33 am |
Say something supportive. | | Wednesday, August 16th, 2006 | | 3:49 pm |
Oh, Oh my goodness, Oh but I must post this
Onion AVclub interview with Samuel L. Jackson about SOAP:
"AVC: You've mixed up your career between action films and more traditional dramatic roles. Why did you decide that this would be your action film for this year?
SLJ: [Pauses.] I didn't think of it that way. It's just one of those movies that, when I was a kid, I would have gone to the movies and stayed all day watching it, me and my friends. I tend to choose films because they're that kind of film for me, because I always wanted to see myself in that kind of movie when I was a kid. I wanted to be the guy who was running away from the big scary thing, or I wanted to be the guy that's chasing the bad guy down the street, the guy that's still standing when the smoke clears. And those were the kind of things I went to the movies to watch on Saturdays. There's a place for them in my heart, and I think still in the moviegoing public. And it's okay for me to do that, because I don't take myself as seriously.
AVC: What do you mean?
SLJ: I mean, there are some people who would never dare to even pick up a script that said Snakes On A Plane. The same people that are criticizing or vilifying me because I've done it. "How could you? A piece of slop film that's caught hold on the Internet—keep feeding into America's lowest common denominator." It's like, the dumbing-down of America is because of the making of films like Snakes On A Plane? Come on. Moviemaking is entertainment. It's not math. Every movie that you make doesn't have to change the social fabric of the world or America or whatever. Some people want to go to the movies so they don't have to think about what's going on around them, or how much gas costs when they have to drive to the movie theater. They just do it.
AVC: So you don't feel the need to compensate by making something that people are going to take more seriously?
SLJ: There's no plan there. I read the script, and—I guess the Internet rumor is that I took the job without reading the script. It's sort of true, but not in the way they said. I didn't receive the script, see the title, and go "Snakes On A Plane, wow, I'll do it," and throw it away. I was reading the trades, and it said "Ronny Yu to direct Snakes," and I was like, "What is that?" Ronny and I had done a film together [The 51st State], so I emailed him and said "What is it?" And he said, "Poisonous snakes get loose on an airplane." And I'm like, "Wow, think I can be in that?" And he was like, "You really want to be in it?" And I said "Yes, I really want to be in it." So, here I am. He's not, but here I am, so it's cool. [Yu left the project and was replaced by Cellular director David R. Ellis. —ed.]
AVC: You're doing the voice of God for an audiobook version of the Bible. How does the voice of God differ from the voice of Samuel L. Jackson?
SLJ: Not very much.
AVC: The singer for Cobra Starship, which did the song "Snakes On A Plane (Bring It)" for the film's soundtrack, has talked about how he's using "snakes on a plane" as a metaphor, not just taking it literally. Do you think it works as a metaphor?
SLJ: Pretty much, yeah.
AVC: For what?
SLJ: [Pauses.] Um… wow… Going to hell in a handbasket. Anything that's unfathomable and impossible to escape is pretty much snakes on a plane.
AVC: If you had to do either films like this or dramas for the rest of your career, which would you choose?
SLJ: Hm… a steady diet of… These.
AVC: Why?
SLJ: Because I'd rather be entertaining than poignant. People have enough drama in their lives already. They don't have enough things to make them smile. "
terrible movie. Awesome Actor. It's a winning combination.
| | Tuesday, August 8th, 2006 | | 10:55 am |
Why Didn't You Tell me!!?!?!?!?!!
Ok, I am shocked and appauled that no one told me that there is, in all actuality, a movie this year called "SNAKES ON A PLANE". SNAKES ON A PLANE!?!?! Why didn't you tell me??? Jesus Tapdancing Christ on a cracker -- Snakes on a Plane?!? I can't say the title enough times, my brain just won't accept that it's actually a film. Snakes on a Plane? Yes, it's actually a movie, AND, it stars Samuel L. Jackson, who's memorable line in the film is: "I've had it with these mother fucking snakes on this mother fucking plane!" Well, sure, I guess if you're going to put Samuel L. Jackson into your pornigraphically stupid movie you'd have to give him a line like that. I think they should have just made THAT line the title. I know, I know, I've not even seen Snakes on a Plane yet, so I shouldn't be able to criticise it for being stupid -- but I content that there can only be so much talent and gooness any group of Human beings can squeeze into something called Snakes on a Plane. I can't stand it, because I know what's next: Bears on a Boat. And if they have snakes on the plane, why don't they just LAND THE PLANE! How long can this hellish adrenaline-spoojing thriller-sequence of events last? 3 hours? 4? At any point over the ocean you're never really more than 4 hours from an airport somewhere, even if that airport is in Fiji or Honalulu or wherever. Maybe I'm not giving the film enough credit, I have after all, failed to mention that the other star of the film, outside of that girl from ER, is the fat kid from "Good Burger"! Also, the director of the film, David Ellis has a history of being the stunt director on such truly golden examples of cinemea from our time, like, say, 'Ghost Dad' and 'The Beast Master', as well 'Warlock: The Armageddon' which I beleive won best picture over Gandhi in 1982. Wha--What's happening to our source of creativity and original ideas in film? Can't hollywood come up with something better than Snakes on Plane?? But, again, I must sound pretentious. I'm sure the idea for Snakes on a Plane is very original. I'm sure that I couldn't just now come up with a dozen painfully similiar ideas for movies that would waste just as much of the world's money and Humanity's time than this Nickelback of movies -- I can I? Coming soon . . . Bees in a Car Scorpions in a Barn Sharks in the Pool Crows in a Tree House Frogs in a Truck Roaches in the Phonebooth Ants in a Gazeebo Poison Dart Frogs on a roller coaster Alligators at a Concert Poop in the 'Fridge Elephants in the Room Snapping Turtles in a Hot Tub Lions on a Cruise Cats in a Hot Air Baloon and of course, the pre-qual everyone's waiting for . . . Snakes in the Oval Office Wow, that's way more than a dozen even -- I must be a Genuis! What in God's name are we doing with the universe God gave us???! What the hell are WE DOING!??! next time something like this happens, please, tell me! I wouldn't want to miss its existence for the whole stupid-movie filled world. | | Thursday, August 3rd, 2006 | | 10:39 am |
a prayer
Mideast war rages with no end in sight
By HAMZA HENDAWI, Associated Press Writer
46 minutes ago
Hezbollah fired its biggest and deepest volley of rockets into Israel on Wednesday as Israel pursued the guerrillas with 8,000 soldiers on the ground and heavy bombing. With fighting in its fourth week and diplomatic efforts stalled, the region braced for a bitter and long war.
In eastern Lebanon, villagers wept as heavy machinery carried off the bodies of those killed in an overnight raid against a Hezbollah stronghold. Across northern Israel, forests and fields lay scorched from rocket fire that killed a Massachusetts native fleeing on his bicycle after a warning siren went off.
Hopes for a cease-fire dimmed despite a plea from Pope Benedict XVI for a quick solution. U.N. diplomats debated a draft resolution that would lay down the conditions for an international force to go in; they claimed they were making progress but acknowledged no immediate deal was in sight.
The prospect of a longer war has raised tensions across the Mideast, where anti-Israeli and anti-American hostility is now sharp. Arab leaders have warned repeatedly in recent days that the fighting has hampered, or killed outright, any hope for a long-term Israeli peace deal. . . . . .
Damn You.
Damn You. For putting us through this.
Damn You. For making us this way.
Damn You. For giving us a choice.
Damn You. For making us love You.
Damn You. For making us hate You.
Damn You. For making us trust in You.
Damn You. As if we had a choice.
Damn You. For not making us stronger.
Damn You. For not making us wiser.
Damn You. For leaving us alone.
Damn You. For not making us better people.
Damn You. For creation without our consent.
Damn You. For owing you everything.
Damn You. For making love too deep.
Damn You. For giving hate a life here.
Damn You. For making me love them.
Damn You. Leave my people alone.
Damn You. Does our spilled blood water your plans?
Damn You. When is enough, enough?
Damn You. You just won't let it stop.
Damn You. You go to Hell for that.
Damn You. I wish your son was here.
Damn You. In the flesh so I can push him.
Damn You. So I can scream in his face.
Damn You. So he can feel livid spittle hit his cheeks.
Damn You. For making us afraid.
Damn You. For making us at all.
Damn You. For being what you are.
Damn You. For making it like this.
Damn You. When do you ask for OUR forgiveness?
Damn You. For making me too weak.
Damn You. For making me too stupid.
You want me to say it again? Damn you.
Does that hurt you? Damn you.
Should I say it again? Damn you.
Will you strike me down? Damn you.
Would you be so mercificul? Damn You.
Will you strike us down? Damn You.
Would you be so merciful for once? Damn you.
Damn You. For making us hope.
Damn You. For making us believe at all.
Damn You. For all of our mistakes.
Damn You. For all the shit we can't take back.
Damn You. For making us hate You.
Damn You. For making us love You.
Damn you. This is all your fault.
Damn you. For being our God.
Damn You.
Fuck You.
Amen.
| | Sunday, July 2nd, 2006 | | 12:44 pm |
Thanks for voting!
Well the votes are in, it's 4 go to Lusaka and 2 go back to Arusha! What did Steve do? Neither! He went to Mbeya instead. Well, after much cell phone discussion with the folks that canceled on me in zambia, i decided to use the ticket to go halfway to zambia, and made it to Mbeya (southern tanzania) instead. Mbeya is an adorable little town jammed thoughfully into the hillsides of tanzania's southern highlands. I did this for a few reasons. One, it means I have saved enough money to go traveling with my friend Elias to kenya in August, and two there are a couple of organizations i wanted to visit in Mbeya anyway. SO, maybe later dear zambia, but for now, it's Mbeya time. Actually it was not all that bad of a decision, so far -- on the train from Dar to Mbeya, I roomed with three zambians, so at least i got to meet some part of zambia. On the train I also met a zambian school teacher who speaks six languages (yes, 6!), and since I left Arusha, I have met (in respective order), tanzanian college student, belgin priest, french nun, a dutch couple, egyptian surgeon and a canadian orphan director, who has invited me to some kind of odd-sounding party at her orphanage in 1 hour. Yes, the advice many of you gave is true, one does meet a great number of people when traveling alone -- and i love this, but i still prefer to move with others. After Mbeya I will return to Arusha -- no zambia this time, but at least i saw a lot of tanzania. | | Thursday, June 29th, 2006 | | 4:30 pm |
Lost in East Africa . . . sort of
Bloody hell! Bloody fucking hell! This is my scenario: friend i met invites me their place in zambia for my week of vacation. I take friend up on offer. I go to Dar es Salaam, tanzania (tanzania's NYC), to leave from there on a train to Luska, zambia. Person calls me while i'm in Dar es Salaam, tells me they won't be there this week, or maybe ever again! Well bloody hell -- i already bought my train ticket today, a big fat 40 dollar non-refundable train ticket. i hate traveling alone. i hate doing anything alone -- so now what do I do? Do I go to zambia on this train and end up alone in Lusaka with no one to hang out with, or do I waste the 40$ and head back to Arusha (i can always take the vacation some other time i'm here). Bloody, bloody hell -- this decisions kill me. Now i'm sitting in the internet cafe of the hostel i'm staying in, in Dar es Salaam -- lost in decision. Vote, but vote soon: Should Steve: A. Take the train to Lusaka and see the city alone (which i really don't want to do, and i'd probably be miseerable taking pictures by myself). B. Go back to Arusha defeated, and have to explain to everyone (inlcuding the organization i volunteer with) that plans changed, prompting 8 dozen people to repeat the statement 'I thought you were going to zambia?' or worse 'how was zambia!?' Stay tuned for the outcome, i guess. How do I get myself into these bizaree-ass bat-shit crazy situations? | | Monday, June 19th, 2006 | | 6:35 am |
[A is for age]: 23, but whenever it gets within a month of my brithday i always just tell everyone i'm that old, so the impact of aging is lessened. so i'm, 24. [B is for beer of choice]: I enjoy the Ale of root. [C is for career]: Non-Profit Hobo [D is for your dog's name]: Odie -- may he rest peacefully in hound heaven. [E is for your essential daily item]: juice. 'cause people are not items. [F is for favorite song at the moment]: "Kidz Cereal" -Z [G is for favorite games]: Godzilla, the great fightin-in-the-city game [H is for Hometown]: i don't get the letter thing here, what if your hometown doesn't start with H? Utica, NY! [I is for the instrument you play]: I am without instrument playing abilitites. [J is for favorite flavor of juice]: O-range [K is for kids]: what does this question mean? the kids that i have? kids I've seen? There is a 5 year old boy that lives next door to us with a face that could make Genghas Khan can make googly noises -- if he were born in america he'd be selling life cereal -- so i'm putting his name. Juma. [L is for last hug?]: Whoever the last volunteer was that left Arusha. [M is for marriage]: see N. [N is for name of your crush]: some cute girl in a pink tanktop just came into the ICTR library - but seriously, Alanis Morrisette. (It's over between us Colin) [O is for overnight hospital stays]: Yikes -- let's hope i can avoid that until i return to North America. [P is for phobias]: I agree with Andy. His phobia is wierd. I am terrified of guioltines. [Q is for quote]: "Who am I kidding, I can't build a cat." [R is for biggest regret]: Not bringing Febreeze with me to Africa . . .again! [S is for status]: Assistant to the traveling emporer [T is for time you wake up]: I don't know, I've lost track of the time zones. [U is for underwear]: yes. [V is for vegetable you love]: Pili Pili hoho! (that's how you say green pepper in swahili, i am not terribly fond of green peppers, but the name is awesome.) [W is for worst habit]: hesitancy. [X is for x-rays you've had]: teeth. lots of blue and black pictures floating otu there of my teeth. [Y is for yummy food you make]: fried eggplant-ness. [Z is for zodiac]: Canca' | | Saturday, May 20th, 2006 | | 11:47 am |
P.S.
If those first 12 rules fail, you can always fuck off to Africa. | | 11:10 am |
To DAN, SARAH, COLIN...
Dear Dan-Sarah-Colin, So you've decided to graduate from college. I am so proud of you!!--you have ridden the mighty collegiate moon worm and lived to tell the tale! Years and hours from now, folks from around the someplace will sit in oaken rocking chairs on their rural porches and tell herds of school children about how you slayed the mighty dragon of acadamia (no oneonta-pun intended). Now for more stories. Dan, I still remember meeting you for the first time my sophmore year of college, in Ritch and Andy's room and thinking 'this man has more confidence than he knows what to do with'. And then thinking 'I'm sad I'll probably never meet that guy again.' God has a way of making a bloody fool out of your expectations. Colin, I still remember meeting you not too much longer after that and thinking 'This guy's going to school here now?-Oneonta just got a lot smarter and a lot funner. Also, where is my wallet?' Sarah, I still remember talking to you online over AIM via Resa, and then meeting you for the first time so late in my college career--at that time some part of me assumed, so late in the game, i wouldn't be meeting any more people in college that would prove folks i loved and wanted as life-long friends. Then you proved me wrong, AND made me pancakes. I miss you all very much, and I can't wait to see you when I get back -- but i thought I would give some advice to piggy-back on Andy's wisened brilliance. Here are 10 rules you should always remember when being in "the real world". 1) The "real world" is actually just like college, only bigger and with less participation. 2) You have neighbors. Meet them. They will set you up with gold bullions and hot dates with famous movie stars, or, some spare sugar. 4) Try as you might, you CAN'T build a cat. 5) Local politics can be more easily influenced then you think, and it's much easier to frighten politicians and buisness owners than they would like to beleive. 6) Masturbate. 7) You can never have too much patience. You CAN have too much potpouri. 8) Changing facial expressions, diet and wall paper can change your emotions, not just vice versa, isn't that weird? 9) Globally speaking, Money and Jobs and all that hooplah will be easy for you to come by being in the economic and political position that you are in, what's hard is finding money and jobs that you're happy with. In that respect your job and assets are a lot like finding the right underwear, which, paradoxically enough, may be more difficult for you than finding a job. 10) I am your friend until the day, I, you or all of us die. 11) usually an 11nth rule can always be added to any rule of 10, because why would the universe be structured with sets of truths equivelent to the number of fingers a person has? It's just too coincidental. 12) Sometimes a 12th rule can even exist because of the principle of rule 11, and this rule is frequently that you shouldn't do anything you think is unethical for money, no matter how much money it is, and even if that thing is eating a fried goat head. I hope you find these useful, and that the world treats you well. I have no doubt that the universe wants you to succeed in the ways you define it. Also, keep posted on internship and places of residence and graduate school. Stay splentrificous. I miss you. ~Steve | | Wednesday, January 18th, 2006 | | 3:09 pm |
Great Gandhi's Ghost!
Ok, wow, here i am, having another chance to write to e veryone on lj. i should let you all know that i am in the process of compliing an email list, so that i can simply email everybody in one fell swoop, and not have to take up more time than i have at the internet cafe, emailing folks indivudally.
a mild update: In the midst of missing each of you terribly, I have mostly been bouncing from between Arusha and Moshi (the two cities in orthern tanzania i will be finding a placement in, soon, i hope) taking swahili lessons and interviewing with a dozen different non-profit organizations. No telling which i'll be with just yet.
It might interest some of you to know, that the swahili word of state is jimbo--i thought that was kind of funny. Also, mt. kilimonjaro --as expensive to visit as it is big, so if any of you should come to visit, we wont be climbing anywhere near that thing any time this century. luckily, you can get a very nice view from Moshi--assuming the clouds are gone, which they've yet to be. i've been doing a lot of cooking here, more than i've ever done before, really -- because, where else are my meals going ot come from? so like, I boil vegetabls and make mashed potaoes and pasta dishes --wierd huh? I'm no longer a pop-tart and microwave guy.
well, that's enough about me, onto you guys:
Ritch: any more thoughts on whether or not you're moving to the island? wacky!!
Jen: thank you, i have not been eaten by lions and do not intend on being eaten any time soon, BUT I did do battle a roach roughly the size of a lion in our pantry. How is work and Utica?
Andy: You are a brilliant artist, and as with all brilliant artists, other crappier artists sometimes get more play, a la dashbord confessional is more wiely heard than Electric Six -- so don't let any americn idol-like charloton ladies make you feel like your efforts are for naught just because they win stupid contests. i know what it's like to put flyers up in the rain and feel like you're doing it all in vain--it does pay off, in some form, eventually, i promise.
Colin: How's the orc fighting going?
ELizabeth: I miss you too. can't wait to visit when i get back--which i so will!
Dan: remembe rthat disk i gave you with the FIGHT poem on it? could you email it to me? i'll explain why later, it's complicated. How's Forman doing btw?
Adrienne: How the heck is WV---see any weird things? say hi to the Mothman for me--that guy's hilarious!
Sarah: what the heck happened with the internship, inquiring steves want to know. Kudos on the political/educational advice you gave your sister btw -- you will be an amazing parent someday.
Colin Again: watch out for the wee orcs --they're biters.
And to anyone i didn't mention i miss you very much too and hope stuff's going really well!everyone take care and good luck with everything and i will write again soonish. bye bye!
| | Sunday, January 8th, 2006 | | 12:27 pm |
Steve, live via satalite from tanzania
hello, hello, am I coming in clear? do you read me, over? I am writing to you all from Arusha, tanzania -- the flights were tiring but fine, and are now over. I arrived this morning and am currently getting a tour of the city by my orientation coordinator, Elias. It's a very nice place so far -- a lot more like ghana than i thought it would be. It's like in the 70's, so not as hot as i imagined though. Hey, my group home, at least the one i'll be staying in for the next couple of weeks until i land a placement, is right next door to a bar/discotech -- neat, eh? also, i get to start INTENSIVE kiswahili training tuesday. yay! i am so excited to actually for once learn a langauge, like, actually learn it, not just take an intro course and drop it afterwards. My coordinator has spent most of the day so far (before he took me to his office where we are now both emailing friends) explaining to his friends and aquantiences and nearby strangers that i am not here to see animals or buy trinkets, but to volunteer. which he does as we walk around the city. he's now off to show me the market whnever he finishes whatever it is he's tpying over there. I hope you are all very well -- Sarah, what's the news with your internship situation? |
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